What if we could measure, give a number to, a conflict?   Then we could say “it’s a 5 on the conflict scale” or “I think its dropped a couple points, now”.   If being able to measure something helps us manage it, does the same not also apply to conflict?

It’s seductive, the ability to attach a number to something which seems to transcend numbers.  It reminds me of all those times when I had to beg and plead for money, from some person in charge of the financial purse.  And that individual would always ask for the “hard” numbers, to rationalize my request.  Wouldn’t it be a thrill to give a hard, cool metric for my soft concept, conflict?  Our social economy would never be the same.

Measuring what can’t be measured

Jen Ratio:  Devised by Dacher Keltner, author of Born to Be Good, the Jen Ratio is a simple, mathematical way to measure the social well-being of any shared environment.  The word Jen is from the ancient Chinese word for human kindness. The Jen Ratio compares the total positive interactions between strangers to the total negative interactions, in a given periods of time in a given place.  The higher the ratio, the better the social well-being of the space and the happier you’re likely to feel after spending time in it.  The lower the ration, the poorer the social well-being, and the unhappier you’ll be if you spend too much time there.

The Magic Relationship Ratio:  Relationship expert John Gottman has discovered that with couples, sustaining their relationship requires a ratio of  5:1, 5 positive for each negative interaction.   He has observed couples for over 30 years, at his apartment-style laboratory, the “love lab”, at the University of Washington.  He found he could predict whether a marriage would last, or end in divorce, with 90% accuracy.  (Note: Gottman observed 0.8:1 as indicator of marriage likely to fail).

In a social media context, many a pundit has offered up similar ratios; e.g., how about a 10:1 for Twitter usage, tweet/promote others 10 times for every time you promote yourself?

As a parent, I recall 3:1 as the magic ratio for praising vs. disciplining young children.  Does this still apply?

Then, there is the Gross National Happiness Index.

You get the idea.

How is your conflict measuring up (or down)?

With intention, direct and indirect observations, social media, a never-forgetting Internet of data, tech tools and analytics…  it seems to me it’s getting easier to put a number on conflict.

If you’re a mediator, how do you quantify the state of the dispute or conflict you’re involved with?

If you’re a community manager, how do you quantify the social well-being of your community?

If you’re working in a shared environment, of any sort, how do you quantify the health of that environment?

[photo credit: theilr on Flickr]